Maybe if we wonder…

Dear Bangas,
Happy Anniversary dear angels ! for many more happy ones to come...
Miracles may also have a chance...MAYBE...
I plan sometimes

But things don’t seem right


I want things my way sometimes
but things don’t seem right


I work hard put in my heart and soul
but funnily at the end
  it doesn’t seem right 


And then the turmoil, the questions, the doubts

The storms of emotions,

The absence of solace and peace

The rope of unending questions, as they throttle me...oh god I need some peace, some sanity please...
i cry, i shout, i curse, i beg...
Senseless & numb...that’s it for Now!


And then


There is this time when I’ve nailed it almost unconsciously,
the time I least expected,
maybe that’s the time i should be happy?!

Funnily the mind still plays its tricks 

Do i deserve this? 

Or is it mere luck

Will i live upto it again

Oh my god these questions find no end?

The doubts appear anyway,
leaving more questions than answers

There is a bigger void that both intense sensations leave


Am i being fooled?

I question, i fail

I doubt, still no solace,

I wonder I wonder I wonder i observe theres nothing within...
and then maybe a glimmer,
like its a new beginning
and as frail and full of fear my mind sees,

maybe in wonder is where my hope lives... Maybe...

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