Hermit in the City

Dear Bangas, Happy Anniversary dear angels ! for many more happy ones to come... Miracles may also have a chance...MAYBE... I plan sometimes
 But things don’t seem right
 I want things my way sometimes but things don’t seem right
 I work hard put in my heart and soul but funnily at the end
  it doesn’t seem right 
 And then the turmoil, the questions, the doubts
 The storms of emotions,
 The absence of solace and peace
 The rope of unending questions, as they throttle me...oh god I need some peace, some sanity please... i cry, i shout, i curse, i beg... Senseless & numb...that’s it for Now!
 And then
 There is this time when I’ve nailed it almost unconsciously, the time I least expected, maybe that’s the time i should be happy?!
 Funnily the mind still plays its tricks 
 Do i deserve this? 
 Or is it mere luck
 Will i live upto it again
 Oh my god these questions find no end?
 The doubts appear anyway, leaving more quest

Dear Manish, Happy Birthday ! This one is dedicated to you. I don’t want to be a banker dad...I shouted Outraged i slammed the door and stormed to the lotus pond, where I immediately felt at peace And the last few months, I saw myself spending time at the pond, more than ever An escape or a sincere effort to find solace I knew not
 One thing was sure - the plans made by my parents charting my future were definitely not mine. Neither being a banker and definitely not marrying a boy chosen by my father My dreams and aspirations were still cooking and the passion in my heart was feeding it Far from seeking security, my dreams seeked passion and truth, Arish felt the same and that’s why we clicked, another reason my parents were not so pleased with me. I wondered if i was really their child, my dreams began where their worries started and though i treaded that path cautiously where i skillfully managed to keep my family happy, There was a shift when i turned 17